Now this is story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how…. I got bamboozled into buying some freaking Guineas.
So maybe my version of the Fresh Prince theme song isn’t as catchy, but at least its honest! Bamboozled is even a real word- defined as fooling or being fooled, and fooled I was, by my own fiance no less! My fiance, Frankie, has a best friend who owns a farm and is a vet. I have spent some time around his farm, but never enough to know everything that’s going on. This is not the case for Frankie. This friend has kids who show chickens at the state fair, and apparently its only natural to also have guineas. Sounds kosher, right? Moving on…
Fast forward to some time this spring. I live in a farm town, so its only natural that we have a Rural King. Every year, in the spring, Rural King starts stocking all these precious baby birds.. chickens, ducks, and guineas. I always wanted ducks, so obviously every time we stepped into Rural King I begged Frankie to let me get a duck. The answer was always a solid ‘No.” However, he said that if we ever did get birds, that we should get guineas because they’re really awesome. Anyways, I don’t like being told no, and I definitely expressed this to him when I said I would return without him and buy my own birds. The next day rolls around and Frankie is out in the hot sun working on a piece of equipment he can’t get running. He mentioned needing some bolts and I took that as a sign. Being the nice girl I am, I offered to run to Rural King and get the bolts for him as long as I could take the truck. He made the mistake of saying yes. With a smug grin on my face, off I went.
It turns out, Rural King doesn’t want goobers like me coming in and buying a single duck to let live in their house. You have to buy 6. What a shame, right? As I’m looking over these birds deciding which ones to get, it occurred to me that maybe Frankie wouldn’t be as mad if I got a couple guineas too. I thought guineas were a breed of chicken and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I didn’t realize this until I got home with 4 ducks and 2 guineas though. Frankie wasn’t too mad, but I think this was solely because he knew he got me. You see, I didn’t realize that the little brown bird I was holding would turn into the monstrosity I now spend money to feed.
After realizing what I had done, I immediately texted my mother to share my sorrow. I think one of her favorite activities is waiting around for me to text her the dumb thing of the day. It was a good one this time. She claimed to be in tears at the thought of what my sweet baby birds were going to turn into. I think I earned an eyeroll or two from my brother.
As you can see in the picture of the guinea fowl in the text conversation to the right, this is what I was picturing my guineas turning into. While it was close, it wasn’t quite correct. You see, that guinea is not the domesticated guinea fowl I brought home. Nope, mine is MUCH worse. Without rambling too much more about the series of events that led me to become a guinea mother, I’ll just share some pictures of my guineas. I named them Quin & Oa, mostly because ever since I brought them home, I’ve continually confused the word Guinea with Quinoa. In my defense, they do look slightly similar- the words, not the bird & the grain. Keep in mind as you scroll through these pictures that they are not staged. These are authentic and honest representations of me every time I try to catch one of these stupid things.
P.S. The real reason people put Guineas in their coops is because they are great guardians. They have a scream unlike anything I’ve ever heard, scaring off predators and/or alerting the rest of their flock. I highly recommend looking up a youtube video..